Proverbs 31's Wife of Noble Character

Whenever I read Proberbs 31, it's easy for me to see all the places I fail to measure up. For instance, I have never "considered a field and bought it" nor have I "planted a vineyard out of my earnings". All the members of our household are not "clothed in scarlet" and I have never "made a covering for my bed". But recently as I read Proverbs 31, my spirit felt convicted as I felt like the LORD showed me something I could do. Three verses jumped out at me, starting with verse 25. It reads:

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom;
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

The part I want to speak to here is at the end of verse 27, "and does not eat the bread of idleness." Whenever I have read this verse in the past, I took it to mean that I needed to keep myself busy while at home, i.e. dishes, laundry, etc. But I saw something a little different as I read it this time.

I think it's interesting that the author used the word "bread" here. Bread and breaking bread were very significant parts of Jesus' ministry. Often when He preached and taught people, it was while He was sharing a meal with them. Thus, He ministered while eating.

How does that translate into my life? Let's see. . . In the morning, I wake all my kids up and they come into the kitchen and have breakfast. After everyone is settled, I usually sit down at the computer and check my favorite blogs, just while they are eating.

Then we head into the living room to start our school day. We begin with Bible, then Math, Spelling, Science, Phonics and whatever else we can fit in before 12:30. At that point, I head to the kitchen to put lunch together. I get everyone's lunch on the table and then I sit idly at the computer to check what might be new on facebook. My excuse is always, "I just need a minute to myself. I've been taking care of everyone else all morning and this is my break."

This is where that verse comes in, a wife of noble character "does not eat the bread of idleness." I felt as if the Spirit said to me, "Don't eat the bread of idleness; instead, eat the bread of relationship and communion with your children." I took that to mean, "Don't sit down at the computer and be 'idle' while your kids are eating. Eat with them. Break bread with them. It's what they need. It's what you need."

I resolved to give that a try. So for about 2 weeks now, after preparing breakfast and lunch for my children, I have fixed my meal also and have been sitting down at the table to "break bread" with them. In the beginning I thought it would drain me, but what I have come to find out is that it rejuvenates me. It is at the table that the kids open up and share what is going on in their lives. So even though I have been with them all morning, it hasn't been relational really, it has been more of a teacher/student type of communication. It is at the table when they laugh more freely and talk more openly when the pressure of school is off. (Well, duh!) I'm sorry it took me so long to figure this out, but thankful that God opened my eyes to my own sin and foolishness.

I want to tell you that this has changed my life for the better. I'm not saying I'll never miss another meal with my children, but I am saying, from now on, I will definitely be more intentional about eating the bread of relationship and communion with them and thus avoid one more way of eating the bread of idleness.

What's your favorite part of the day?


This is a question I ask each of my children either at dinner time or at bedtime. Tonight when I asked Asa what his favorite part of the day was, he matter-of-factly answered, "NOT going to the potty."

Kids say the Darndest Things


We were at Marian and Wade's last night and all the kids were playing and making up their own jokes. Micah comes over and says, "What am I? I have 100 eyes, 4 feet, 5 bodies, 10 ears and a mouth." And then, Christopher blurts out, "Ugly!"


To say that Micah was bummed that his brother stole his punch line would be an understatement. But that didn't stop him from giving it another go. . .

"OK Aunt Hannah. I have hair down to here (points to his shoulders). I'm wearing a Texas A & M shirt and sunglasses on my head. Who am I?"

I replied, "You're meee!"

He was very pleased that I had figured it out and that it had made me happy. Then Ayden stepped in and said he had one. . .

"My turn mama. OK, I have hair down to here (points to his shoulders) and I'm wearing a t-shirt and I have sunglasses on my head, but not those sunglasses (points to mine). My sunglasses are cool and they have style! Who am I?"



The punchline isn't near as funny, but in case you're still hangin' on for it, he said, "I'm a rock star!"

What a Big Week!

On Wednesday, Asa went all day without his pacifier and I decided that if he didn't ask for it at bedtime, I wouldn't offer. He didn't ask. I didn't offer. He went the whole next day without it and then right before bedtime on Thursday, he said, "Where's my paci?" Kevin picked him up and distracted him for a few minutes and then he was off to bed without it and he hasn't asked for it since. So for the first time in 12 years, we are paci-free! Amazing!

Also on Wednesday afternoon, Anna-Kate asked me if she could get her ears pierced. Kevin and I had decided long ago, that when she was old enough to ask about it, we'd discuss it then. Well, she did ask a few years ago, but she didn't pursue it, so we let it go. But this week, after 2 days of persistent asking from her, Kev & I sat down with her and talked to her about the pros and cons and we stressed to her that it would hurt, possibly alot. She was not discouraged in the least. Therefore, we told her that she could. So on Friday afternoon, we headed to the mall and she got her ears pierced. I was very proud of how well she did. Kevin and I were both holding back tears, but she didn't shed even one. (Aunt Mar took pictures, but I haven't downloaded them yet. They're forthcoming.) The earrings she chose were/are very pretty and she looks so beautiful and well, grown up. How did that happen so fast?

Then tonight, I was praying with Anna-Kate when the boys got out of the shower. I heard Austin take Asa into my bedroom where Ace would wait for me to put his diaper and pajamas on him. As soon as Anna-Kate said, "Amen", I kissed her and told her I needed to go help Asa get dressed. When I got into my room, Austin was finishing up with Asa's diaper. I couldn't believe my eyes. Austin had put Asa's diaper on him. I told him how proud I was of him and that now I could count on his help in the diaper changing department. He did not like that idea and told me to forget I had ever seen him do it. Of course I told him I was only kidding, but it was a fun moment for me to see him helping me without being asked.

Ahhh (sigh). . .what a good day. God is good.

I apologize

for being gone so long. We went away on vacation and when we came back, our computer had died. For almost 2 months we have been computer-free. Sure I've missed checking blogs, facebook, email and the news, but a new "normalcy" has crept up on me. I CAN live life without a computer and I was a much more productive mom too. Living without a computer means starting school on time, not after checking blogs; washing dishes during lunch and folding a load of laundry during a small break. It means I spend more time with my kids instead of telling them to hold on while I finish reading something of less importance.

On the other hand, it meant that Marian had to print up all the important homeschool emails and hand deliver them and many "important" emails just sat in our inbox. It meant that Austin had to hand-write his paper in writing and if I wanted to check up on blogs, facebook, etc. I had to do it at Marian's in all of my "spare" time.

Anyway, thanks to Eric & Theresa (who got a new computer and practically gave us their old one) we are online again. Thanks guys.

So much has happened since I last posted and I have tons to share, but I'm not sure where to start. AND it's getting late and Hurricane Ike is headed this way, so Lord willin', I'll post something new tomorrow or the next day, or whenever I can get around to it.

Later.

Can you guess. . .


what Anna-Kate and I did today?


I'll give you a hint. . .we both lost 11 inches. . .





(Sorry about the quality of the picture. It was taken with a cell phone.)


We've been talking about doing it for a very loooong time and we finally did it. We said goodbye to our long locks. She looks so cute and we are both happy with the outcome. Even daddy likes it. That is a definite plus!

Last night. . .

Pastor Jon & Mr. Josh took Austin, Addison, Anne Michal and Lizzy to a Bombers baseball game. While they were out, I was remembering the times my dad took me to see the (Charleston) Charlies play. I have such sweet memories of those games and as I was reminiscing, I said a short prayer that Anne Michal, Lizzy, Austin & Add would make a sweet memory together.

When they got home, I knew as soon as I opened the door that God had answered my prayer. All four children were standing there and they were just beaming and they were giddy. Yes, Addison was giddy. ;) They told me how they were the main attraction for "Take Me Out To The Ballgame". Someone asked them if they wanted to help out with the song and they all said, "Yes!!" Austin said the microphone was "this close" to him. (Use your imagination) And Anne Michal's Bombers Bingo card won her a free ticket to another game. So, although the Bombers lost the game, it was not a loss for our children.

Thanks to Chris & Debbie for passing on the tickets. Thank you Jon & Josh for including our boys. They had a great time and made a sweet memory and this mom was very blessed. I wish I had some pictures but, alas, I do not. Sorry.

Hey ya'll, did you know. . .


that John Ferguson has a new blog? I just spent some time there catching up and liked what I read. I thought many of you would want to tune in also. You can find him at http://kicking-the-darkness.blogspot.com/

Enjoy.

The Latest E-Mail Tag

In an effort to avoid being called reluctant again, I am posting an e-mail questionnaire my family has been sending around. We do this about once or twice a year just to keep up with one another. So, if you're up for it, consider yourself tagged. . .

1. What is your occupation? Wife, mom, home-school teacher, church nursery worker

2. What color socks are you wearing? Not wearing any right now, but usually you can count on white.

3. What are you listening to right now? The TV in the background--The Parent Trap is on Disney.

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Chicken fajitas

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Last time I checked I could.

6. What color would you be, if you were a crayon? Cry Blue--Someone once told me that when I cry, my eyes get blue-er.

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Kevin

8. How old are you today? 39 baby and soooo ready for 40! Bring it on!

9. Favorite Drink? Sonic Diet Vanilla Coke or Amaretto Sour, depending on the time and the mood

10. What is your favorite sport to watch? Whatever sport my kids are playing at the time & college football

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yep

12. Pets? Our dog, Sugar

13. Favorite food? mashed potatoes

14. Last movie you watched? Wall-E

15. Favorite Day of the year? Christmas

16. What do you do to vent anger? the silent treatment and then I yell

17. What was your favorite toy as a child? Hollie Hobbie doll & Boo Bear

18. What is your favorite, fall or spring? Spring

19. Cherry or Blueberry? How 'bout peaches?

20. Where do you want to go on your next vacation? The beach or the mountains. . .either sounds nice.

21. When was the last time you cried? I'm probably due.

22. Who is the friend you've had the longest? That's easy, Marian. First, we were womb-mates and then, for 18 years, we were roommates.


23. Favorite smell? Gardenias & honeysuckle. . .both bring back sweet, childhood memories.

24. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese

25. Favorite car? The one that's reliable.

26. Favorite cat breed? Only cat I ever liked was one that adopted me. She always came around when my best friend, Kim, and I were hanging out and talking on the front porch. We always said, "There's that cat again." Eventually, we just started calling her, TC for 'That Cat'.

I Love the 4th of July!




Because my best friend in high school, Kim Erskine, was born on this day, just 40 years ago. The picture above was taken at my house before our Junior/Senior Prom. She and her date, and my date and I all met for pictures before leaving for the evening. That picture is so like her. It always makes me smile. She was such a good friend to me.

Anyway, she and I celebrated her birthday many times on the Kanawha River (in West Virginia) while watching the fireworks. She used to say the whole country celebrated her birthday. Oh, how I miss her! She had a great sense of humor and we had some great times together. So, where ever you are, Kim Erskine, I hope this day is a great one for you! Happy Birthday. I miss you friend and I love you dearly. God be with you!

Just a few more shots for good measure. . .
Here we are in the van getting ready to leave for a youth beach trip. Aren't those sunglasses hot?! And yes, we are both sportin' a mullet. . .ahhhh, the 80s.


At Ocean Isle Beach on one of our youth beach trips. . .


Kimberly Rae Erskine

Today is Austin's 12th birthday!



How did he grow up sooo fast? I can't believe he's 12. We celebrated his birthday while his Aun Oui was in town because their birthdays are just a day apart. When we lived in OK City, they celebrated together every year. It was nice to be able to do it again this year. Thanks Aun Oui!



In honor of his birthday, I'm posting a poem I wrote for him a little while back.

Austin Dabney is our first child of five,
when he plays with his siblings, the room comes alive.
He has three brothers and a little sis too.
When his cousins come over, there's no tellin' what they'll do.
He leads them in sword fights and battles galore
as they run with great courage and pound on the floor.
He takes time out for Sugar, his sandy-brown pup.
He trains her to sit and not to jump up.
He likes to eat spicy chips that he and dad share
while he sits in his lap in dad's big, comfy chair.
When he gets hurt, he jumps, wails and screams.
Nothing can be done to help, so it seems.
He tries to calm down, puts his hands on his hips,
says a short, little prayer and then gets a grip.
He loves to watch NASCAR as those stock cars soar.
It's not dull to him. His eyes are pinned on 24.
We have tried to teach that Mark Martin is best,
but he has chosen Jeff Gordon and grouped Martin with the rest.
He awaits March Madness as if it were some holiday.
Then he manages our brackets in his own unique way.
He's so excited to see his favorite teams win,
he's glued to the set from beginning to end.
He's a fan of all sports, but basketball's his game.
He's a star on the court and destined for fame.
All-in-all, our Austin, he's just tons of fun,
but the best thing about him. . .he belongs to the Son.

Happy Birthday Austin. I love you.

An Asa Quote



"I like our home. When I walk through the door, it makes me feel good inside."

Just in case you were wondering. . .

what a week's worth of laundry looks like for 5 children, here's a glimpse:

I did my part. . .


And the kids did their part. . .


All done for the week!! Wahoo! Wahoo!


And now (sigh), here we go again. . .




It NEVER ends!!!

Asa's Thoughts

Asa has been thinking about Knox this week. One day he came in and said, "Mom, I'm mad about Knox."

I said, "I'm mad too."

He replied, "I wanted to play with him."

The next day he came into the kitchen and announced, "I want to play with Knox--tomorrow!" He then turned and walked out of the room.

Then, yesterday as we were discussing Creed's baptismal feast and where we were going for it, I told him we were going to the same house we went to for Knox's baptismal feast. Asa thought that meant we were going to see Knox and began clapping and yelling, "Yea! Knox!" I don't think I told him that Knox wouldn't be there. I figured he would find out soon enough.

Ugh!

We sure do miss you Knox. I think this would have been a very fun weekend for you.

An Austin Funny

Austin had this conversation with his Aunt Wyndi (affectionately known as Aun Oui):

Austin: Aun Oui, you should come to the baptismal feast today.

Aun Oui: I'm really tired Austin, so I think I'm going to stay home this time.

Austin: But I want you to meet everyone.

Aun Oui: I'll meet them at church tomorrow.

Austin: Ahhh man, you would have more fun tonight, because people are more fun when they're not all dressed up.

An Ayden Funny

"Mom, I used to play with Savta & Oompah (his grandparents/my parents) all the time. But now, I just don't know what to do with these old people."

I know I know! I've been a very reluctant blogger. Sorry Rachel. I've been wanting to share something our family has started doing, but haven't had the chance as we have had visitors in our home for the past 3 weeks and it has been difficult finding the time.

In order to explain where I'm coming from, I want to start at the beginning. So bear with me and I'll see if I can make some sense of it all.

I have an "extreme" personality. (Surprise surprise!) By that, I mean I tend to take things to the extreme. For instance, in the past when I have worked out, I thought it important to work out for 2 hours or more everyday--6 days a week. (I'd do 7, but my dad convinced me when I was younger, that it was better to honor God and the Sabbath.) Anyway, I would get up at 4:30--another extreme--in order to get my workout (and a few other things) done before my kids would get up. All or nothing baby! I'd rather train for a marathon than a 5K, and truthfully, competing in the IronMan in Hawaii would be the ultimate thrill. When I was a swimmer, I swam butterfly because someone told me it was the most difficult. Sky diving and bungy jumping sound like fun to me, and in that same vein, I've always desired to be a very small size, even though as an adult, I've never been smaller than an 8.

It has been a life-long struggle of mine to keep my body at a "healthy" weight. I say "healthy" because my ideal of "healthy" is probably very "unhealthy". I fall victim to the world's view that I should be a size 2, which I have never been, and so no matter what size I am, whether an 8 or a 16, I am continually aiming for something smaller. It's sin, I know. I'm getting to that.

You know that commercial where the people walk around with a scale chained to their ankle to symbolize that they carry their weight with them wherever they go? Well, I could so relate to that. That is me. It is ALWAYS on my mind and it rules over me. I am confessing that as sin to you as I have confessed it over and over to God.

Raising a daughter, I realize how my "unhealthy" view of weight can negatively influence her. And this has forced me to try and find balance in my life, especially in this area. So, I have made a few changes. I want her to know that exercise is important, but that it is not "ALL-important". I don't want it to rule over her the way it has ruled over me.

Therefore, in order to find some balance, I have decided to implement a few small changes in our home. First, I asked Anna-Kate if she was interested in becoming my "work-out" partner? She excitedly said that she would. Now, three to five days a week, she joins me in the living room and we work out with an exercise video. (I've accumulated a few over the years.) None of them is over an hour long and we do it together. As a workout partner, she is a joy. She encourages me and she talks and giggles most of the time. We have a great time and sometimes even the boys join us. I've told her that by exercising, she's helping to keep her heart and her body "healthy". I try to avoid saying, "thin" because I don't want that to be her ultimate goal, even though it is still my struggle. (Feel free to pray for me in that area.)

Another small change we have implemented is that now, about 4 evenings a week, we take a family walk together after dinner. We are very privileged in that our back yard fence leads right into the playground of a neighborhood school. After dinner, we head out the back door and we walk around the school a couple of times. We start at the monkey bars, make our way over to a couple of hop-scotch boards where we all play it together. Addison has won every time. Then we head over to the playground where they run, climb, play and slide. Then we do it all again. The whole walk is about an hour. It isn't aerobic in the least, but it gets us off the couch and away from the tv. We connect with our kids as we talk, walk and play. It is one of the best things we have EVER done. When we tuck them into bed at night and ask them about their favorite part of the day, they almost always say "the walk". I encourage you to give it a try.

We took some pics the other night as we took our walk, so I thought I'd share. Enjoy!




























Here's to small changes & finding balance!

This Tag came from Lindsey--Andrew & Adam's mom. . .

(I stole this picture from Lindsey's blog. :) I hope that's ok.)


Finish the Statements. . .

Maybe I should be working out.

I love the smell of steaks and chicken on the grill.

People would say that I love babies.

I don’t understand why .

When I wake up in the morning I want to go back to sleep.

I lost my willpower to exercise.

If there's a dessert in the room I'm ignoring it (at least for the moment).

Life is a precious gift.

My past made me want to guard my children's hearts.

I get annoyed when Victoria's Secret commercials show up in the middle of my children's television programs/movies.

Parties are not a good time to have a meltdown.

Dogs are tollerable.

Cats are not, seeing as Austin is allergic.

Tomorrow is only a day away.

I have low tolerance for my children when they argue.

I’m totally terrified of being morbidly obese.

I always knew I would . . .I don't know if I've ever always known anything.

Never in my life have I bungy jumped.

High school was awkward and not knowing who I was.

When I’m nervous I pray and bite my fingernails.

Take my advice When it comes to parenting your children, it's ok to pick & choose your battles, just remember to let other people do the same.

Making my bed rarely happens--Sorry mom!

I'm almost always trying to figure out what we're having for dinner.

I’m addicted to sugar.

I want someone to fix my facebook account.

I tag: anyone that's reading this and wants to give it a try!

Three down, two to go. . .

Addison & Anna-Kate celebrated their birthdays this past weekend. Anna-Kate turned 8 on Saturday and Addison turned 10 on Sunday. We decided, in our true fashion, at the last minute, to have a pool party. We decided at 1:00 on Saturday afternoon to have it at 5:00 that evening. I had been thinking of putting it off for a week, but then realized that we already have plans next weekend, so we made a few phone calls, gathered up as many of our friends who could be as spontaneous as we are, and we met together to celebrate two beautiful children.

I love you Addison. I cannot believe you are 10! You are a delightful son and it is a joy being your mother. You are intelligent, creative, obedient, hard-working and a wonderful addition to our family. I'm so glad God blessed us with your presence. Happy birthday son.

I love you too Anna-Kate. How did you get to be 8 so quickly? I love your sweet laughter and tender heart. You are smart, beautiful (on the inside & out), artistic, genuine, and eager to please. Our home is more well-rounded with you in it. You are a blessing and I'm glad to be your mom. Happy birthday beautiful.

Here are a few more shots from our evening at the pool. . .


Anna-Kate & Lizzie

Christopher, Kenneth & Addison

A self-portrait of Ayden & me

Anne Michal

And my very favorite from the day. . .


I posted the rest on my facebook page. It's much easier to post them there than it is here. So if you feel a need to see the rest, you can check them out there.

Just finished reading. . .


Holding Onto Hope by Nancy Guthrie. I cried buckets. It was good because I needed to cry.

I also read that link on Rachel's blog--cried some more.

It's so strange. Sometimes when I feel like I should be crying or that I'm "expected" to cry, I can't find a tear. But then, outta nowhere they come (the tears, that is). I've probably said that before. Anyway, sometimes it's in the grocery store, which I really despise, and sometimes in the privacy of my own bedroom, which I greatly appreciate. Sometimes I get to share them with my husband, my mom, a sister, or a friend and then sometimes it's just me and Jesus.

This grieving is a journey. It's a journey I expect to be on the rest of my life. I don't say that to depress anyone. I am just trying to get a handle on what is now my life, my family's life. My marriage is affected. My kids are affected. Their friends are affected. Oh, how I love my children's friends!

Bless be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love. I've sung these words many, many times before, but they ring differently now. Knox's death is a tie that binds my heart to his family's heart, my sister's heart, and your heart in Christian love. It is difficult for me to call it a blessing at this stage, but I know God has a purpose in it. His name is glorified. I become less and He becomes more. I trust in His word and I know His ways are higher than mine. I'm learning what it means to walk by faith, and not by sight. I've been blind-sided and my sight is gone. The things I so willingly accepted as a child, I don't "see" anymore. But I trust in God and in His word. I cling to Him now and I know He clings to me, but the beauty lies within His grip and not within mine. I'm not strong enough to hold onto Him in these dark shadows. I'm in and out, feeble and weak, tired and oh, so sad. I'm thankful He doesn't leave it up to me. He walks this road with me. He leads me. He is an ever-present help in my struggle. And for that, I love Him more.