RAIN. . .A recurring theme these days. . .



Bring the Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that
I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am yours regardless of the clouds that may
loom above because you are much greater than
my pain you who made a way for me suffering
your destiny so tell me whats a little rain
[1st Chorus]

Holy, holy, holy
Holy, holy, holy
is the lord God almighty
is the lord God almighty
I'm forever singing
[2nd Chorus 2x]

everybody singing
Holy holy holy
you are holy
you are holy

[2nd Chorus 2x]

By: MercyMe

These are the words that get me. . .

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I'm all about the joy and the peace and the chance to be free, but my heart aches as he sings,"Bring me anything that brings You glory. And I know there'll be days, when this life brings me pain. But if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus, bring the rain." I want to say, "Bring the rain," but instead, I cry out,"Jesus, no more rain. Please, no more rain." Can't my life bring Him glory without the rain? Oh, I am so selfish! How is that I can only accept the good from God? This feels like too much to swallow. . .Literally, I feel myself wanting to vomit much of the time. Sorry, but that's the only way I can describe it. "God, please help me accept ALL of Your plan, to praise You even in these times, these moments. I want to be spared this kind of rain, but I know Your ways are higher than mine. Hold Anne Michal in Your care this day. Bring her joy and peace in the midst of the rain. Please comfort all the Andersons and grant that they would love and trust You more. In Jesus' name."

COMING THROUGH THE RAIN

I wrote this at a different time in my life when I was coming out of a (2+ year) struggle. . .out of the rain, so to speak. I went looking for it today, as I thought it might help me to remember the Hope I had then. It is still the same Hope I have today. God felt silent through much of that time also, but I know He was there, working in me, and making me more of who He wanted me to be. It is because He brought me through that time, that I trust Him to bring me through this time also.

Rain. . .God's tears causing growth.
Rain. . .time lingers and healing is slow.
Getting by. . .holding on. . .clinging to Jesus
Nowhere to run. . .pressing forward. . .crying hopelessly, helplessly
Despair.
Grasping and waiting.
Silence.
A dim light appears. . .Yes, it grows brighter.
My tired hands find strength to hold on a little tighter.
The rain is slowing.
Clouds are clearing.
A hint of sunshine breaks through.
The sign of a lasting promise encompasses the sky.
A kind-hearted Father holds me close.
I cling to Him with awe and wonder.
No word is spoken. . .only the silent healing of the broken.
Tears streaming down my face. . .Amazed at how He could love me so,
I thank Him for my rainbow.

A glimpse of Ayden's creative side. . .



Remember when I said I believed Ayden had a fiery passion to create, well, here is a prime example. He made this "hat" for me today. When I told him I was going to have Austin take a picture of it so I could post it on our blog, he took it back and spent another 30 minutes coloring it. He truly is an amazing kid. Constantly he is asking me if I want "this" or "that" as he finds old golf tees, clothes pins, vintage lids to containers we haven't used in years and cereal boxes. He will use glue, tape, string, even already-been-used tape, if he can get it removed. Then he creates these "treasures" that are indescribable. I believe that every room in our home is decorated with at least one of Ayden's creations. I wonder what this will mean for him in the long run. Whatever it means, I'm thankful for Ayden and this gift of his. I pray God uses it and him for His glory. I love you Ayden!

I BELIEVE. . .

God is the same yesterday, today, forever.
God is the author, perfector and the finisher of my faith.
I am a sinner.
my sin is so ugly that I am too ashamed to admit it out loud.
God is bigger than my sin.
God's ways are higher than my ways.
life was difficult when I was 20, and again when I was 27, but those times do not compare to the past 3 months.
mourning the death of Knox may be the most difficult thing I will ever go through.
I am not walking this path alone.
I am still learning who I am.
God loves me.
God understands my struggle.
God created Kevin just for me and me for him.
Kevin is mourning also. He's just stronger than I and he's better at hiding it.
God's word is true. . .every part of it.
Ayden's eyelashes are the longest of any 4-year old I've ever seen.
I could live on Asa's laughter.
cousins are a precious gift to my children.
friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them. (Corny, I know, but I still believe it.)
a loving marriage is a gift from God.
"intimacy" is not overrated--when it is in the bounds of marriage.
"intimacy" outside of marriage will hurt your spirit in the long run.
saving yourself for marriage is sooo worth it and "dating" lots of people is sooo not worth it.
God reveals Himself through His word, as well as His people.
witchcraft and sorcery are evil and putting it under the guise of fantasy, fun, imaginary, even Christian, is dangerous. God hates it and calls it an abomination.
there is no such thing as "good" magic. Ask my little brother, he'll tell you how it almost destroyed him.
most people who read the above will laugh it off and not give it a second thought by saying, "Oh, she's one of THOSE people." I am. Sorry.
we'll just have to agree to disagree. I won't change my mind about this one.
"A" names are cool.
Austin is worthy of honor, for he has Jesus in his heart.
Addison reflects Christ's image.
Anna-Kate is a picture of pure grace.
Ayden has a fiery passion to create; hopefully, that will translate into his own personal walk with the LORD.
Asa's heart will be toward the LORD all his days. (Maybe that's more my hope.)
God reformed my faith and the faith of my husband.
in Heaven and hell.
God's discipline is sometimes painful, but it is necessary for growth.
in God the Father Almighty, maker of Heaven and earth and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of the virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead and buried. He descended into hell. The third day, He arose again from the dead. He ascended into Heaven and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father, Almighty. From thence, He shall come to judge the quick and the dead. I believe in the Holy Ghost, the holy catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body and the life everlasting.

SAY CHEESE!

Austin got a camera for his birthday and he's been trying it out. He took over 90 pictures of his siblings just on the trampoline. Here are a few of my favorites. . . (from top to bottom: Asa, Ayden, Anna-Kate, Addison, & Austin--he let Anna-Kate take the picture of him.)











And here's one of Ayden and a little "friend" he caught hoppin' around in the back yard. . .

THREE CHEERS FOR GRANDPARENTS

This past week we had visits from 3 grandparents. My mom, affectionately known as Savta (pronounced "sof-tuh"/also, the Hebrew word for grandmother), surprised us with a visit. She stayed 3 nights with us and 3 nights with Marian and Wade. We all enjoyed having her here and are thankful for the memories she gave us. We were sorry Oompah (my dad) couldn't come, as he is resting in WV with family there. We missed you dad!



Then, Kevin's parents came for a week-long vacation. We kept Papaw busy by making him paint with Kevin and the kids. I love that the kids have memories of painting with him. We broke out a 1,000 piece puzzle we'd been saving for a rainy day or two and that was fun to do with Memaw. I didn't forget that piece you put in too, Papaw.




We want to say thank you Savta and Oompah and Memaw and Papaw for all that you do and for how you love our family. What gifts you are to us! We are so very blessed! We love you and we thank God for you.

SWEET BABY JAMES



James Daniel was born today weighing in at 8 lbs. 11 oz. and 21 in. long. Mama (Esther, my little sis) and baby are doing fine! He is welcomed by his mom and dad and sister, Jacqueline and brother, Jonathan. Welcome to the family James. We've been praying for you. We're excited to meet you. We love you.

Congratulations!

This is his proud papa.



Aunt Sarah (Esther's twin) was his nurse for his first 8 to 12 hours of life. (I'm unsure of the exact details.) She's the best there is James!!

DON'T JUST STAND THERE, BUST A MOVE





Those who know me well, know that I like to "shake a leg" every now and then. Until recently, it had been a while since I had danced with someone (other than by myself). This doesn't include the occasional slow dance I enjoy with Kevin when a song moves us in that direction. I'm talking about bustin' a move and really jammin'. Well, the other day, Ayden and I were in the kitchen and an old dancing song came on the radio and Ayden joined me and we "got down". I hadn't had that much fun dancing since Kevin and I used to go dancing with some old friends in WV. (That's a shout out to Andy and Jerri!) Well, Ayden and I had so much fun, that we decided to include his siblings and cousins in on the fun that afternoon at his cousins' house. Aunt Marian took some pictures of our jam session. I thought I'd share them with you. Enjoy.

Have you ever been sucker-punched?

I feel like I get sucker-punched on a regular basis now. I'm goin' along, doin' ok, and then, BAM, the breath gets knocked right out of me. I'm standin' there, shakin' my head, "No" is all I can think. NOO!! I still want to bargain with God to somehow bring Knox back. Why this road Lord? Why this one? I still cannot believe he's gone, that he won't be coming back to the nursery or to co-op. I want to hold him again, make him laugh, give him back his paci, put his crocs on the right feet, put his little dog back in his diaper bag, and yes, change his diaper. Ugh, there it goes again. . .the breath right out of me.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for Knox. Thank You for his life. . .for his grin. Thank You for his 17 1/2 months. Thank You for the time You gave us with him and that You gave me the privilege of being a part of his life. I don't understand Your ways Lord. I don't get it. I may never get it. And if I am feeling like this, how much more must his family be feeling? Lord Jesus, please comfort Jon and Rachel, Anne Michal, Lizzy, Emma and Jack. Hold their family close to Your heart. Give them the strength to walk through this Friday, the 13th. Carry them through to the 24th, and every day after that. Make Your presence known to them. Fix their eyes on You and knit their hearts together. Give them a spirit of unity amongst themselves as they follow You so that with one heart and mouth they may glorify You. Only You can bring them through this. Only You can bring us all through this. I ask for healing and rest, comfort and laughter, and whatever else You know they/we need. You are our God. We are Your people. We are only able to walk this path with You as our stronghold. So Lord, we hold strongly to You, even if we don't know exactly what that looks like, please work through our feeble attempts. Help us in our struggle, in our unbelief. Hear the groans of our hearts, for they are meant for Your ears. It is You we seek. Please forgive our sins and sanctify us through and through. Your people need You. We need You. I love You and I praise You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

A CHALLENGE TO PARENTS

Sit down and write your child a letter. If you have more than one child, write more than one letter. Tell each one something wonderful and unique about him/her. Remind him that God has a plan for his life, plans to prosper him and not to harm him, plans for a hope and a future. Let her know how much you love her and that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. Put it in your own handwriting, even if you don't like your handwriting. Tell a story of your childhood, a lesson you learned from your own parents, a secret you shared with a good friend. Write a prayer, share a favorite Bible verse, have a friend (or a sister) take a picture of you with your child. I stole that part from a friend who challenged parents to take individual pictures with their kids. I think it's a GREAT idea. Then you could frame the letter with the picture and give it as a gift. It doesn't even have to be a birthday or a Christmas gift, just a "because you're so great" gift. Do something special and fun. Our children are a heritage from the Lord. They are blessings and they should know it.

Here are a few pictures of us with our kids. Most of them are a little old, but I don't have all of my pix on my computer, so I made do with what I had. At the top are pictures of Asa (left) and Ayden (right) with Kevin. Then Addison and Kevin are next. Anna-Kate, from last summer when she was missing her two front teeth with me and last, but not least, Austin and I from last summer also. Enjoy.

ADD HAS A NEW DO!

Thanks to Colin and Uncle D, Addison wanted a mohawk. It took a while to convince his daddy, but something happened, because when I got home last night, Add had a new do. I actually love it. It's very cute. I mean, it's very cool Addison! Check it out!

Here's the latest personal survey or questionnaire I've gotten through my email. I usually get 1 or 2 throughout the year from close friends or family. I don't mind sharing some stuff and I usually delete the questions that are too personal. So, here's a bit of useless information about me. Feel free to ask about anything I may have left out. (The picture is one of the latest ones of Addison and me. It was taken at his birthday party in May. I don't think I have posted one of him yet. The kids love it when I put their pictures up, so here ya go Add.) Now, onto the survey. . .

1. Were you named after anyone? Yes--Hannah in the Bible. I was the 5th daughter and my mother figured she would never have a boy, so she named me Hannah, since Hannah prayed for a son and God gave her one. I guess I always knew I'd have a son. Who knew I'd have 4? My mother eventually did have a son, after 8 daughters. My middle name is Carol, named after a dear friend of my parents, Carol Bryan.

2. When was the last time you went shopping? tomorrow :)

3. Do you like your handwriting? Yes

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? turkey

5. Do you have kids? Yes--4 boys, 1 girl

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yes

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot? never

8. Do you still have your tonsils? yes

9. Would you bungee jump? I'd like to think I would

10. What is your favorite cereal? Cinnamon Life or Rice Chex

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? not usually, but I untie them before I put them back on.

12. Do you think you are strong? not lately

13. What is your favorite ice cream? Kroger's Moose Tracks

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their smile

15. Red or Pink? Pink

16. What is your weakness? kryptonite (I stole this answer from my little sis, Sarah, because I thought it was a clever answer. . .silly too.)

17. Do you have a secret you have never shared with anyone? Yes

18. What was the last thing you ate? chocolate-dipped strawberries and cake from Hannah W.'s wedding shower

19. What are you listening to right now? the sound of the keys as I type

20. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? cry blue

21. Favorite smell? The Rainwater's backyard (a childhood summer vacation home)

22. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Kevin

23. Favorite sports to watch? The ones Kevin or my kids are playing.

24. Eye color? My daddy's blue eyes

25. Do you wear contacts? Yes

26. Favorite food? So many to choose from. . .hmmm, fajitas are good

27. Scary movies or happy endings? Definitely happy endings

28. Last movie you watched? Ratatouille

29. What color shirt are you wearing? OU crimson

30. Summer or winter? Summer

31. Hugs or kisses? Are you kidding--kisses from my baby

32. Favorite dessert? read #31 :)

33. What book are you reading now? Psalms & Proverbs

34. What is on your mouse pad? A golfer's definition of fat

35. What did you watch on tv last night? Fresh Prince of Bel Air

36. Favorite sound? Children laughing

37. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Rolling Stones; although, the last time I answered this question I said the Beatles. It depends on my mood. Really, I'm more of a George Thorogood kind of gal.

38. Do you have a special talent? Not that I know of

39. Where were you born? Huntington, WV

40. What is one thing you wish you could take back? April 13, 2007

41. Favorite number? 5

42. A hobby that occupies your time? Journaling & Creative Memories

43. Your favorite time of day? Morning, before the sun comes up

44. Favorite place to sit at home? In Kevin's big, comfy chair

45. Who is a friend that is most like you? Marian

46. How? Duh

47. Would you get a tattoo? Yes

48. What's your favorite book? Esther

49. What's a game you like to play? Trivial Pursuit with Kevin

50. What do you most like to do on Sunday? Go to church then visit with friends.

Many of my brothers and sisters in Christ have reached out to me in the past week to remind me of how God loves me. Brian reminded me that my character is in Jesus and does not lie within the scope of my sin. He even said he (& Janelle) love my character. Thanks guys.

Sarah showed me that Christ took on my sin so that I could wear His righteousness. Amazing. Truly.

Wade told me to memorize Romans 8 and said he would too. He also said that we are not defined by what we do in a crisis, if we were, he'd be in BIG trouble. But instead, we are defined by who we are in Jesus. Hmmm, Romans 8:15-17 says For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:37 is good too: No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

There's God's word for you, living and active, piercing through my darkest thoughts and attitudes. Thanks Wade. I'm so glad that Knox wasn't separated from God even in those darkest moments and I'm thankful that his moments of darkness didn't separate me from God either. This is a tough one for me to grasp.

Heather and Phama reminded me of how devious satan can be and told me not to believe his lies of shame and guilt. What would we do without Jesus? Where would we be? How do people make it without believing in Him?

Rachel, thanks for posting the picture of Knox and me. Watching you and Jon walk through this is amazing to see. Knowing God is your anchor strengthens me as well as others.

Dad, mom, Marian, Ashlee, Matt, Vicki, Sandy, Katharine, family, friends, and even those I don't know who have responded with God's truth and in prayer, I want to say, "Thank you." Thank you for pointing me to God's word and to Jesus. Thank you for praying for me, for Jon and Rachel, Anne Michal, Lizzy, Emma and Jack, and for Marian. I would ask that you also remember a few other children as well: Joshua, Christopher, Micah, Cara Beth, Austin, Addison, Anna-Kate, Ayden, Asa, Colin and Bella. OK, so maybe it's more than a few, but these are the ones who were also "there" that day (along with the Anderson children). Pray that these little ones would experience God's peace, reassurance and rest, that they would lie down and sleep in peace, for it is God alone who makes them dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:8) And pray also however the Spirit leads you. Thanks again. You have ministered to my heart, my mind, my spirit and my soul. I love you.

My Hope is Built
Text: Edward Mote, 1797-1874
Music: William B. Bradbury, 1816-1868

My hope is built on nothing less
than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
but wholly lean on Jesus' name.

Refrain:
On Christ the solid rock I stand
all other ground is sinking sand;
all other ground is sinking sand.

When Darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
my anchor holds within the veil.
(Refrain)

His oath, His covenant, His blood
supports me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.
(Refrain)

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
O may I then in Him be found!
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
faultless to stand before the throne!
(Refrain)