Loss. . .Currently, I am going through the loss of someone dear to my heart. I have no way of knowing just how to get through. There is no rule book. It takes me back to other losses I have suffered in my life. I can only think of a couple. The first death I remember feeling a little close to was when my sister, Wyndi's, best friend died of a brain tumor when she was in elementary school. Her name was Melanie. I think I was 6 or 7 then. Melanie was 8 or 9, if memory serves me. I didn't mourn for Melanie when she died because someone told me then, probably my mother, that Melanie had gone home to be with Jesus in heaven. That was enough for me. I knew she was ok and that I would see her again. Ahh, the faith of a child. I see this in my own children and nephews as they deal with the loss of which I am presently struggling. The past two months as I've grieved the loss of a child that I had the privilege of loving and knowing, I've also grieved for Melanie, or maybe more for her mother, Ann. I'm sure she still grieves today, all these years later. I'm so sorry Ann. Wyndi told me that she thought it was difficult for Ann to even look at her (Wyndi) in the beginning as it was too painful for her, but as the years passed, she (Wyndi) thought that Ann found comfort just being in her presence. Somehow it was reassuring to her. I hope that is true.

I lost my husband once. (I got your attention with that one didn't I?) It happened while we were dating. We broke up for about 2 1/2 years. As I was grieving his loss, I was also struggling through a tough relationship with a dear friend. Eventually, God gave me back my husband, but took the dear friend, along with a few other precious people. Those losses I have also grieved these months. (Amy, Lynn, Hollee, MEF, and, Oh my stars, I can't forget Sharon. I look forward to celebrating with you girls in heaven.) I have known that God would make all things beautiful again once we all got to heaven, but I didn't expect Him to heal some of this on this side of Heaven. But of course, our God can do more than we can even think or imagine, and He has healed some of this for me. I can't really even explain how He did it, but He did. I'm so thankful too, as I was beginning to think God had forgotten me. I felt His silence and it was deafening.

But I'm down on my knees with my face to the ground again. (I never should've left there.) I'm crying out to my Savior again to somehow make this right. Somehow we all have to get through this. Please pray for Jon and Rachel, Anne Michal, Lizzy, Emma and Jack as they move forward without their son and little brother, Knox. Oh, how I miss him. It may be selfish to ask, but pray for Marian and me too. Thanks.

The picture on the last post, for those who don't know, is of my son, Ayden and his buddy Jack, Knox's big brother. I love those boys!